Point/Counterpoint

Eva and Elizabeth cannot decide who gets to blog first, so we are writing a joint blog. What's new? Well, today Eva spent all day galavanting with her idiot friends while Mom and Elizabeth shopped and wrapped presents for Xmas (which we do on New Years).

Oh, and did Elizabeth mention that yesterday, she and her sister and mother went to Circuit City and Elizabeth made them watch while she tested the sound quality on HUNDREDS of those damned cd alarm clocks with the only cd she brought along: "I Think I Love You" by the Partridge Family, which she would play on the loudest possible volume over and over again?

Yes, and while Elizabeth was busy making an informed purchasing decision, Eva ignored her and sat on the floor reading "Harry Potter 3" because apparently she missed some of the subtleties the first 57 times she read it; she, by the way, was the one who insisted on playing "I Think I Love You" and was seen dancing to it.

Oh, and then while we were at "Nordy's," as Liz likes to call it, she ran into her old friend Kari and bemoaned her decision not to wash her hair for the last several days, and then promptly lost her cell phone and made everyone look for it; she was so angry; there was anger in her eyes don't you know.

It turns out Eva is not the movie critic for the Phoenix, but the Feenicks, which is a paper she writes on toilet paper with crayon and the "movies" are actually IKEA commercials and she always gives them rave reviews and the end of her columns are just "Screw Flanders" over and over and contain numerous threatening references to the UN.

Oh, and it turns out that Elizabeth isn't the humor columnist but the girl who gets up early on Thursdays and distributes the papers; in fact, she's just the person who does that's assistant; apparently, the Phoenix doesn't like people to just cut out random Dave Barry passages and paste them on colored construction paper with a big smily face on top.

Eva sells poison milk to schoolchildren.