I have finally figured out the key to doing computer science and math homework quickly. You need to abandon the logic of the subject entirely. This does not mean doing sloppy work. Sloppy work is using the logic of the subject loosely and messily with the general goal being to approximate a "correct" answer. You need to use your own logic, with the goal being to write as few sentences as possible. My method of choice is the methodology I used in French: simply try to answer in kind. Always repeat the question as a statement, this takes up space and makes it appear that you may understand it. Then say "because". Then write something that is tangentially related. This can be a sentence or theorem you saw in the chapter that contains a word or, preferably, wordS from the problem. This can be a definition of one of therms in the problem stated as if it were an argument. This can be a convoluted statement using terminology from the problem and any course from the same department. This is how I got my homework done in 20 minutes. This entry is longer than my homework. The legend lives on.

Hmmmmmm. So Stef has been asking me birthday questions that dance around what she wants to do, like "do you want a gift or an event?" or "Do you want to go to Gnocci or Boston Market?" So far she has been quite successful in the surprise department, as I have no idea what she's going to get me and, really, no idea what I want. I told her I wanted to set a price limit, but she refused, so instead I think I'll just sell whatever she gives me and split the money between us. That seems pretty fair to me.


We have started an exercise regiment and I SWEAR TO GOD I am a tool of the patriarchy and it makes me feel good and organized, like "Oh. I am finally making something of myself." AHHH!!! When will I be PAST that!! I AM A CATHY CARTOON!! When I grow up I am going to be a Cathy and DIlbert cartoon. Would that I could be Dykes to Watch Out For. I'd settle for Doonesbury. Oh well.


In case you were wondering, you can check the "is curly and looks quite good" box on your "Elizabeth's hair" poster. After you erase the "is dirty. how long has it been since she's showered?" checkmark.


This new CS book makes sense. Finally! It's quite cool. Still am not quite ready for the homework, but I'm getting there. I wish I didn't take "notes" on random scraps of paper that I then lose.


Everyone and their significant other is posting about Sager. I should be a rebel, but my hair is so damn cute there's really no reason. And it smells like coconut. Even my chiropractor, who usually flirts with Stef, noticed. So I felt less depressed and alone and out of it and uncomfortable then I have at almost any other time at a dance. Which is huge. And unprecedented. I was in a VERY basic and unimpressive drag (I need to talk to Sarah Kelly and Cadelba and get tips), unevenly bound but not packing. Jeans and Brigid's beer tank top (which she didn't realize was beer til inexcusably late in life) and flannel shirt. But I felt pretty okay.


Stef attributes this not to the naked people, but the drag, which I had not thought of. But I did also feel pretty comfortable at the formal, though not quite as much, when I wore the suit. I do think there is something to be said for not having your breasts bouncing everywhere (especially when you don't wear a bra, but even if you do). I wonder if that has to do with it, feeling more in control. And if my costume just made me feel less looked at. And if it does, what does that mean? For me? For the gender binary? For Judith Butler? I don't know. But I didn't feel my usual painfully self-conscious, obsessive dance self. So that's the working theory.


HAH! You thought I was going to talk about the other people at the dance! You thought wrong! Welcome to ME!! Welcome to my universe! You don't like it, go back to your pathetic existence and see if it's nearly as interesting. Go back to your homework. Go back to your half-empty can of Dr. Pepper that went flat a week ago but you drink anyway. Crawl back. I certainly won't miss you.

I am in the SQU small room reading for now. It's recently become one of my favorite spaces on campus.

Ran into Ester and Sarah and Jenny in the library and we decided to have lunch together at 12:30 and it was so good I didn't go to class. Just try and argue with THAT logic! But it's cool because I think I'm finally becoming friends with Jenny cuz she's so cool. I am being social. This is good. I am a success.

Ran into Dina who took me to Sharples and we had a swattie discussion about science and gender and women and construction where I kept saying, "But gender is constructed!" and she kept replying "Yes, I know." Anyway, she totally confirmed all the lesbian separatist and post-modernist (sorry! I just feel cool now that I know what it means) reading by saying that she had to construct her femininity in order to date guys and lesbians didn't have to do that because they don't need to date guys. It is exactly about how female is a constructed gender catagory that only exists in relation to men and therefore lesbians have no gender because they do not exist in relation to men. And I found myself being such a separatist, saying, "WHY?? WHY DON'T YOU REBEL??" But she basically said, "I can't if I want to date a guy." Which is why lesbian separatists say straight women can't be in the gender struggle. Anyway, I felt like such an angry radical lesbian separatist, which was fun. It was just amazing to hear someone say what I've been reading, what the lesbian separatists have, to an extent, been responding to. Gotta go to CS and be quiet and passive now.

Woohoo! I just mass deleted most of my messages in mutt and I figured it out myself. "D"!! Woohoo! Now to finally do reading. I spent tonight hanging out with Ester (and a little Brig and Kate and Felicia) which is always great. I think Ester has good talks with everyone, but I don't. So it's nice.

News: I got a job developing software at JPMorgan Chase. It's a bundle of cash and awesome and my life has purpose.

Otherwise, I am avoiding doing my work. I went to the Latke Hametache debates and they were AWESOME. I wish I had taken a class with Amy Bug! And Raima was wonderful. I love her.

And I have figured out my classes for next semester. I'm going to take a creative nonfiction writing class at Upenn (aka humor columns. Woohooo!) And I will minor in Women's Studies and take the senior seminar, which will rock. And Ryan has agreed to be my CS partner again. And I ordered a textbook from PALCI that will explain CS46 to me so when Charles asks for a "careful proof" I won't just give him two vague, incoherent sentences or pretend I didn't think the problem was assigned. So, except for not doing my reading yet, I'm cool.