Audit(ions)

After a while, helping people get the tax refunds they deserve loses its sparkle. It's like a wine glass that was left on the floor, and then someone stepped on it, and then they yelled at you because they told you that the glasses go in the cabinet. Sometimes the only bright spot in my day is directing people to the wrong escalator when they ask for the bathroom.

People are always asking me ridiculous questions. They're always like "what filing status should I use?" or "can you help me?". It's like, "enough already! Can't you see I'm in the middle of an Amy Tan novel?" I am so bitter now I wish actual harm on the people who come in. I don't usually put it into action, even though there are many undetectable ways you can get people using their tax returns. Oh, many, many ways. For example, you can say "come here so I can do your taxes". And then kick them in the butt. If you're clever, you can yell, "here's your back taxes!" If you're not clever, you can just take their money.

Stefanie and Mom are both watching "Kitchen Trends 2005" with the kind of focus usually reserved for Stephen Hawking lectures. Mom is surprisingly knowledgable about design, so now the vote is 2 against 1 in favor of design shows.

Stefanie and I got DVR. That's right. Digital Video Recorder. We can pause and fast-forward during TV shows. We tape shows and series by clicking on them. We click again to take them off the hard drive. It is honestly the greatest thing ever and I think one of the reason I hate my job so much is that it stands between me and the shows I've taped.

The title of this entry is clever, but irrelevent. Which, by the way, is how I introduce myself.