The only thing sadder than watching "Sweet 16"

is realizing it's an episode you've already seen. Oh, I have sunk so low.

I got kidney stones. Yes, again. And you know wha?t, they *are* better the second time around. It's like dessert after a wonderful dinner. and the painkillers are the mints they have by the door.

So I'm watching celebtrity Poker Showdown and this woman kept raising and raising and she had nothing in her hand and everyone was like "oooh, bad time to bluff" and she lost and it turned out she thought she had a straight. How upsetting is that? She looked pretty mad.

Sometimes I'm sitting in class and I realize that I am technically in law school. I am supposed to understand the phrases my prof is using: "possesory interest", "colorable claim", etc. At some point I am supposed to start using these phrases. In court. Or when talking to a client. Or trying to impress chicks. That's when I look at the corner.

In the corner of 118, behind the rows and rows of desks of students desperately pretending they understand what's going on, is a shadow. And hiding in the cover of that shadow is a cardboard box. And in that box is a golden sphere, levitating exactly 2 inches off the ground, 2 inches from each side of the box. The sphere is covered with crumbled candy canes and broken dreams. Inside the sphere is a buckyball made out of very small caramel apples connected by thin steel bars. On each apple, a fairy is perched with one finger touching a plastic, blue water bottle in the center of the buckyball. And floating in that water bottle, in a calm sea of Crystal Pepsi, is my ability to pay attention.